


Mune ni hi wo tomoshi nagara (Using the fire in our hearts as a light)

by vogue91



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Doubt, Fluff, M/M, Romanticism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 18:17:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14721158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: Takaki had gotten used to that feeling.He didn’t know how it had ended up like this, he just knew that he was too nervous to speak, to say anything to the boy in front of him.





	Mune ni hi wo tomoshi nagara (Using the fire in our hearts as a light)

Takaki had gotten used to that feeling.

He didn’t know how it had ended up like this, he just knew that he was too nervous to speak, to say anything to the boy in front of him.

It hadn’t been so long since he and Kei had started dating.

He couldn’t explain how it had happened, either. But he knew that somehow it felt right, it was something natural for both.

The glimpses in their eyes, their smiles, their gestures... everything had led them there, and he was upset because he couldn’t  help but feeling tense about it.

Inoo had moved into that apartment just a few days before, and that was the first time that he went there.

He loved the atmosphere that reigned between those walls.

He felt like he could get used to this feeling, and it scared him a little, though he didn’t know why.

It wasn’t always this easy to be with Kei. Sometimes he felt like he was alone in their relationship, like the younger was in a world too far for him to reach.

And, maybe, this was what he was afraid of.

He felt like he could get burned. Like he could misunderstand his feelings for him, and find out that, at last, he wasn’t so important for him.

When he first stepped into the house, he smiled at Kei, a bit shyly, but feeling relieved when he saw the same smile on the other’s face.

Now they sat at the kitchen’s table, eating soba without talking to each other.

Yuya didn’t feel awkward about it though; it wasn’t so weird for them to stay like this, without saying a word; being together seemed enough for them in those moments.

Or, at least, it seemed to be enough for Kei.

He tried to talk several times, trying to ask the other what he had done during the day, or to talk about the house, but Kei would always answer briefly, like he was forced to, and so Takaki chose to stay quiet, without trying any further.

When they had finished eating, it took them some time to clean up the mess, and then they went toward the living room, laying on the couch and turning on the television, looking for something to watch.

Still, in silence.

Yuya was starting to feel frustrated.

He wanted to stand up and cry out his intolerance for this situation.

But he knew he wouldn’t.

Because Kei wasn’t aware of the way he acted, wasn’t aware about the way he made him feel.

So he just stayed there, with his frustration and the feeling of being invisible for the younger, like his presence in that house wasn’t making any difference for him.

He lasted for an hour or so.

At the end, he couldn’t take it anymore; he stood up, looking at the boy in front of him with sad eyes and heading toward the front door.

“It’s better if I leave” he whispered, almost hoping that Kei wouldn’t hear him.

But then he heard the other standing up from the couch and chasing after him, then he felt him grabbing his wrist.

“Wait, Yuuyan... why are you going away so early? Did something happen?” he asked, frowning.

Takaki bit his lower lip, torn between telling him the truth or to plead tiredness.

Actually, he was tired.

He was tired to be a friend for him, even if Kei talked about him as a boyfriend, he was tired to stay still and watch as the other ignored him in situations like this one.

He was tired of the fact that he always seemed to think that everything was ok, even if it wasn’t.

“It’s not like something has happened, Kei... nothing has happened, that’s the point!” he said, his voice quite too loud for the circumstance. He tried to calm down, before he kept talking. “I’m always patient, I try to be with you and think that everything is ok between us, but I... I just can’t stand it anymore. Every time we’re together you pretend I’m not here, like my presence doesn’t change a thing for you. So tell me, what am I staying here for? It’s the same if I’m here or not for you, isn’t it?” he said, feeling like he was going to cry any moment now.

Inoo had his eyes fixated on him.

It looked like he was trying to figure out what the other had just said, and he couldn’t understand.

And Yuya thought that he had been right thinking that the other wasn’t feeling the same things as him about their relationship.

Instead of longing for cry, he felt much like going home now.

He didn’t want to stay there anymore, feeling like he was the only one having a problem, feeling like he was the only one who got the will to try and make things better between them.

He was just tired of that look on Inoo’s face, and he couldn’t stand to see it anymore.

“What do you want me to do?” the younger asked, and almost made him want to laugh.

He wasn’t sarcastic. He wasn’t defiant.

He was sincere, he was actually asking him what he wanted from him.

Takaki didn’t know how to answer, because it wasn’t like he wanted something in particular from Inoo.

However, he tried, because he felt like he wouldn’t get another chance to make things up with him.

“I want to feel like you care about me. I want more than a night spent together without actually doing a thing, when we barely talk and barely look at each other. I want some more...” he blushed, while he looked down. “I want some more romanticism from you. Nothing special, just something that would make me feel like I’m your boyfriend, and not just one of your friends” he said, his wish to disappear becoming even more urgent.

Kei stayed quiet for a while. Then, he slowly started smiling.

Yuya got a bit annoyed at that smile, feeling like the other wasn’t taking him seriously.

He was about to tell him he had to go, when the younger gestured him to wait, while he reached for the kitchen again.

“Don’t leave yet, Yuuyan. Just wait a little bit longer!” he heard him say from the other room.

When he returned, Takaki felt like bursting into laugh, but he restrained himself, just to keep showing some of his annoyance.

Inoo had a candle and a lighter in his hands. He smiled at him, clearly satisfied, while Yuya was still trying not to say a word, and waiting for his next move.

The younger lit the candle, and then he kept it between them, his smile becoming sweet rather than playful.

“Is it romantic enough?” he asked him, and the elder couldn’t help but laugh this time.

He moved closer to him, putting his hands on the other’s hips, being careful not to get burned from the flame between them.

He was feeling relieved, all of a sudden.

He felt stupid for thinking that Kei didn’t care about him; that was just the way he was, and he should have known better than worrying about their relationship, because when he had decided to start dating him he knew it wasn’t going to be so easy to keep up with his being a mould-breaker.

“I adore it when your silliness reminds me what I love about you” he whispered, while the smile on the other’s face grew wider.

“And I love you because you’re able to love me despite my silliness” he added, growing closer and closer to him.

“Not ‘despite’... I would say ‘because of’” Yuya corrected him, before blowing the candle out and leaning over Kei, pressing his lips over the younger’s.

“Do you still want to go?” he asked, slyly.

“No, if you light this again” Yuya answered, pointing at the candle and heading back toward the living room.

He didn’t want to leave anymore.

Kei, his world and his silliness, that house and the faint scent of the candle...

It all felt like home to him.


End file.
